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Well about me I am quite smart and belonging to upper middle class family and I am 5’07” tall I weight 60Kgs.It happened in the month of April. My family decided to attend marriage of my cousin sister so I was left alone at home because my college examinations were going on .So my mother told my maid servant to look after me and make food also for me. So our family left for marriage. I usually wear full pajamas and kurta at home and show to my parents that I am a very shy type of person. The next day, in the morning when I was studying, she came and started to work. As I was doing my work, she came to me asked to switch on the TV. I was busy so I asked her to do it herself. As she switched on the TV. there was a romantic kissing scene from an English movie. Seeing this, she shouted. When I asked what happened, with a smile, she asked me that what’s going on. I told her that they love. She laughed and ran to the kitchen. I also went inside the kitchen. I sat near her and started to. .. I'd willingly been with Bill by then, so what difference did it really make?Now... I was alone, sad, and very lost. I'd felt used up before, not ever knowing exactly how that felt. I was on a thin line. Depression and unbidden, dark, troublesome thoughts often entered my mind, thoughts that I had talked to my doctor about. She pushed for me to take some drugs for that... but I felt I needed to feel this pain... for a while at least. To make sure I remembered just what I had thrown away.It was a dangerous game I was playing with myself then. One that could end up with me dead and gone. I walked that line, the edges of it drawing me in and out many times a day. I thought deep down that if I lost John forever, I would rather be out of my misery than have to face myself each day.When John called me that night, having gotten back from his vacation, I was surprised. That night too, I'd been depressed. I thought that he was about to cut me loose. I thought I had finally lost my John.
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